


last chicken on the table

by benjiboo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: 300 kfc buckets, Angst, Cheating, Drama, M/M, Smut, bad language, bad spelling, chicken abortion, chicken narnia, chicken species, grammar, worst comedy youll experience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-28 02:51:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15039062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benjiboo/pseuds/benjiboo
Summary: rp with me and my bff, about baekhyun and our friendprepare for brain cells to be lost





	last chicken on the table

**Author's Note:**

> Theme song: all of me - john legend

Baekhyun walks into the dining room to sit down by the table. “What are we eating today?” He rubs his tummy. 

Ryan was laying on the table next to the chicken, with nothing but an male thong.”me or the chicken” 

Baekhyun stares at Ryan, looking down his body and back up his face. “You know… This story’s name is last chicken on the table.” He smirks. “I think……………… you need to get off the table sorry.”

“Oh” ryan put on his robe and sat on the table. Disaped. “Seat down then GOD”

Baekhyun stares at him still……. “Ryan…. I know your pride is hurt but.. I just don’t feel like it today you know…” He hides his face, to not show his tears. “I think a chicken does a better job comforting me than you”

Ryan looked down sadden, the thought that they had something but it seem like it was just his imagination. He just wanted ass ‘i understand“ look down in shame.

The kpopper boy looked at him again, not afraid to show his tears. “Listen, do you understnad? Do you?” He started yelling “Or do you just want my ass huh?” He slammed his fist on the table “HUH/.?!?!?!?!!?!”

Ryan didn't look at him right away, he didnt want to say that he just wanted ass… but it was true. He took a deep breath. Looking at him in the eyes. “I...i dont just want ass” he lied, he had to there was no way he could tell the truth.

Baekhyun went over to him, pickinh up the chicken and threw it at hi s face. “IS IT ME OR THE CHICKEN? DO YOU WANT TE CHICKEN MORE THAN ME? DO YOU WANT MY ASS OR NOT?” he pulled his pants down to show ryan “LOOK RYAN” there was a chicken inside. “Its our baby, now do you still love me or are you just doing it for yourself and not for us???”

Ryan look at him, he stod up and just walked away. At the door of the dinner table he looked back ”your drunk agian arnt you?”

“I’m not fucking DRUNK, you’re an ASSHOLE and you don’t CARE ABOUT ME OR THE FUCKING BABY” Baekhyun started crying, hhugging his ass, the chicken, his baby, THEIR baby. “I’m sorry lil ryan jr, your dad doesn’t love you/.//…..

“FrRIST OF ALL WE ARE BOTH MALE WE CAN HAVE KIDS, ALSO THAT A CHCIKN, WE ARNT THE SAME SPICES…. IT EVEN COOKED THAT MEANS IT DEAS” ryan count keep his cool he ttrun red like a tomato and slabed his fist into the wall make a big hole.

“Ryan……….” The asian twink sniffled, “Why? ..Just..why? Why don’t you care? About me? Or lil ryan jr? Why?” He cried into his asscheeks, “WHY??????” he picks up the phone and is looking for a number.

“I only cared for that ass but seen you dont give it to be ill just go to Chanyeol his better than you any way” walking out of the room and out the door to a cold winter night. Ryan felt free about that.

Little did he know…. Baekhyun was calling Chanyeol. The chicken wasn’t Ryan’s baby…… It’s Chanyeol’s, and he loved the boy more than he loved Ryan. It’s the truth, and he’s happy he found out ryan’s an asshole cuz he aint the dad anyways. “Chanyeol are you there?”

“Yes” chanyeal was trying to whole on to his mouns, right now he was with suho who was ballz deep in his ass 

“Um… I’m… I don’t know how to say this but… I think I’m pregnant with your chicken… And it’s sorta crusty in my ass still so I need you to abort it, sorry” Baekhyun was rubbing his ass cuz its hurt from all the breadcrumbs scraping his ass.

“I cant a the chocken bae, beause im going thought the proces of beacome a woman and only men can do abort chickens” this time chanyeol count hold back the moan as he creamed all over the car seat. His dog toben barked.

“What-- chanyeol? Where are you? What’s happening are you okay are you getting murdered oh my god” Baekhyun was panicking and his breathing was getting faster and sweating and shit, his only love paying for his bills was dying and who was gonna be his sugar daddy now?? “What the fuck Chanyeol why you gotta do me like this?/” Fuck it, I gotta do this myself… he gripped onto the chicken in his ass and pulled as fast as possible. “It’s not working!!!!!!!!!!!!!” he screamed as he pushed and pushed but only water came out. “I think i forced my water to break….” He decied to hang up and call ryan instead

Ryan as walking around the block lost beasue he forgot the way to chanyeal but that didnt matter, he then felt his phone vibrate he wanted to ignore it but it didn't stop. He took it out of his pocket and looked at it. It read ‘little cunt’ he groomed what the hell does this boy want. He chose to not answer iit and keep on walking. 

“FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY WONT IT COME OUT!!!! MY ASS WONT STOP LEAKING” Baekhyun kept screaming, but screams won’t do anything. Screams won’t help him pay the bills or get his chicken out. “What do I do now…” He cried to himself again for the 103812903120tjh time. “I guess I only have one number left…” He decided to call his mom. “Mom?”

“Yeas deer” a sweet lady replied 

“How do you get a chicken out of your ass? I’m asking for a friend”

“Oh that simple dear you get olive oil”

“I don’t have olive oil, we only use lube. I mean my frien dsaid that”

“Is it vegan lube”?

“I’m not a vegan mom. I mean my friend isnt a vegan”

“Well then tell you friend that the chickn is stuck in there”

“No please mom… plz tell me what I can do, my friend is in pain and her water broke”

“Be come one with the chicken”

“How??????”

“Well your father got a blowtorch and killl himslef”

“Mom dont talk about dad, did you forget what he did to me when i was akid”

“yes”

“Oh… Okay well im hanging up now bye thanks for being useless i guess” Baekhyun sighed… What was he gonna do? When will ryan return? His original love? Lil ryan jr can’t survive like this… Baekhyun can’t survive… without his love. His one true love’s love. He called ryan again.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU FAG” 

“I want u”

“No thank you i dont what some with hiv”

“Bitch I know u were looking for chanyeol, he told me everything okay???? U probably got hiv too”

“Yeah but i got it when i was doing your mom”

“I was kidding about chanyeol… but now I regret saying that cuz i jusst learned something new about you. You’re a real asshole, a jerk, a dirtbag, and I hope all urchildren in the future never make it out alive from ur hoe’s snake trap of a puss bye”

“Your mom is pregnant, im your dad now”

Baekhyun slammed his phone down on the table, making it shoot through the wood and break into tiny little pieces. The table was destroyed, and so was the chicken that was on it. The last chiicken on the table is no more. Baekhyun deccided he will be no more neither. He can’t live in this world anymore…. Chanyeol left him, Ryan left him, his mom sucks, and he cant get a chicken out of his ass. It’s time to go. He went to the refrigerator and opened it, revealing buckets of kfc chicken. “I gotta eat it all, all 300 buckets of them” so he did but he didnt finish cuz he passed out halfway, and nowhes lying on the floor unconscious. The chickens come to life and then take his body away into the fridge, teleproting them to a different world. 

Baekhyun wakesup to two chicken feet in front of him. He gets up and stares at the perfect human chiseled muscley awesome body with a chicken head. “Hello human, welcome.”

“Where am I?”

“You’re home now. The chicken you had in your ass is me, and thank you for raising me in your ass so now I can walk around just like the other chickens. Just like you, mommy.”

“Oh… ok” Baekhyun got up. “How do i leave”

“Why? Thi s plae is paradise, we got chickenseverywhere and no daddy issues or mommy issues or bf issues”

“Yeah cause this place looks weird y’all are weird walkking around with human bodies and chicken heads”

“Oh well you cant leave. So yeah, byebye world end of story”

**Author's Note:**

> dont worry we know how good it is and we’re planning on publishing it watch out for 2019 best sellers list we gonna make it


End file.
